


Stop! In the name of my chest!

by pure1magination



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M, i wrote this in like five minutes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 19:56:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6438100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pure1magination/pseuds/pure1magination
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky and Tony are little shits. Steve has red-and-blue flashing nipples.</p><p>Inspired by this tumblr post <br/>http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fdo-you-have-a-flag.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F141066203724%2Fdumbass-oikawa-parrofinch&h=ZAQFZN8Mv&s=1</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stop! In the name of my chest!

Steve Rogers was somewhat of a master of reckless decisions. Bucky could go on for hours listing all of them, and Steve would try to talk over him and object for a while before slowly sinking into his own broad shoulders, turtle-like, and accepting with guilt that Bucky was 100% right. So when Steve Rogers decided to get his nipples pierced, this barely even registered on Bucky's surprise-o-meter. He did give Steve a lewd, crooked grin and make an innuendo or two, but the sultry glance he got in return shut him right up. 

Steve complained a little, at first, about how his clothes didn't fit quite right and his 'chest' was now too sensitive, which led him to roam around shirtless as often as he could. The metal studs glinted in the lights of their shared apartment. Bucky eyed Steve's chest hungrily.

He'd never forget the look on Tony's face the first time he noticed Steve's new star-studded nipples. His head whipped comically back around to stare, wide-eyed, as Steve casually strolled across the living room and gingerly pulled on a shirt. Steve tugged the cotton slowly over his golden-tanned skin, covering all those delicious rippling muscles. Tony's wide brown eyes were glued to Steve's chest, his face a shade paler than usual.

"What?" the doe-eyed Captain asked in total innocence, checking his shirt over for stains, eyebrows furrowed in cute concern.

"Nothing! Nothing.." Tony lied, recovering himself.

As soon as Steve was out of the room, Tony hissed, "Did Steve just pierce his _nipples?"_

"Not 'just,'" Bucky corrected. "He got that done last week. Wanted to match me, I guess." Bucky had gotten into body modification as a way of coping with his... arm. He still struggled to think of it as 'his' arm sometimes, but he was getting better about it. The body art helped.

Tony glanced at Bucky's chest- which was currently covered in thick material, which obscured the little nubs- and then quickly back up at his face like he wasn't just checking out his nipples. "I see." Tony's face was blank for a second. And then his stance subtly shifted. He crossed his arms. Bucky could practically hear the gears turning in his head. 

Tony made a thoughtful sound.

Bucky raised his eyebrow.

"What if..."

Tony leaned closer and spoke in low, conspiratorial tones, cupping a hand around Bucky's ear.

A grin slowly split across Bucky's face.

*

It says something about Steve that he didn't even question it. Of course Bucky knew how to sweet-talk him, but he'd felt slightly out of practice, and he'd been worried that he'd have to pull out a few down-low-and-dirty manipulation cards, but all he had to do was casually mention the idea and Steve totally went for it. Bucky felt slightly guilty, because the light in those blue eyes projected euphoria that Bucky seemed interested in bonding activities with him. Steve's transparent need for Bucky to come to him, to always make the first mood so Steve knew he was ready, was bleedingly apparent in that exultant, trying-to-be-cautious-and-hide-his-feelings-but-failing-miserably look.

But he got Steve to agree to put flashing lights in his nipple piercings, so Bucky counted that as a win.

The idea was, whenever Bucky called or texted Steve's phone, Steve's nipples would flash, and whenever Steve called or texted Bucky's phone, Bucky's nipples would flash. Bucky passed it off as a Best Friend Bonding thing. However, he knew how to turn off the nipple flashers. Steve did not.

They had fun with it, for a few days, just lounging around their apartment. Steve put on his Cap face and set up some ground rules for when Bucky could and couldn't text him. Bucky readily agreed, fingers metaphorically crossed behind his back.

And then came the moment of glory.

Fury called them all downtown to fight some giant monster thing. Steve answered with an authoritative, "On my way." They suited up, joined the melee downtown where Thor was already swinging around Mjolnir and the Hulk was jumping around, splintering concrete. Tony made some joke about them being late, which Bucky started turning into an innuendo, but Steve quickly silenced him and apologized, then asked for more mission specs. As Tony rattled them off, Bucky got into position.

The giant lizard thing was faster than they'd anticipated, and impervious to just about every weapon. Hawkeye had located several men on the ground with dark clothing and walkies; they appeared to be somehow controlling the beast. Mission objective: pick them off one by one. Iron Man, Hulk, and Thor would work on neutralizing the beast.

Black Widow had already taken out two of them. The Winter Soldier cocked his gun, game face on. The icy glare alone would freeze most people in their tracks. But The Winter Soldier would remain unseen, picking them off from the shadows.

Cap was running around on the ground, strategizing more than actual fighting. He used his shield for its actual intended purpose for once, shielding himself from the crossfire, and refined their strategy to neutralize the giant lizard thing.

He was the Captain for a reason- thanks to his commands, the tide of the battle turned in their favor. The guys in dark suits were starting to panic, which meant they were getting reckless, easier to take down. Hawkeye seemed to be having too much fun with his taser arrows. The Black Widow seemed almost bored.

Bucky decided it was time to strike.

Captain America was in the middle of the battlefield, shield up, jaw squared, in all his star-spangled glory. Hawkeye's voice informed him of a masked man on his seven. Cap turned around and hurtled his shield at the guy, who ducked in a panic and scurried further back into the alley. The guy was out of range of all three sharpshooters. Cap squared his jaw and prepared to take him down on his own. He caught his rebounding shield and strode towards the alley like some huge star-spangled panther going in for the kill. Bucky could hear him giving some sort of motivational warning. 

Cap had his shield raised, ready to strike, when red and blue lights started rapidly flashing on either side of the star in the center of his chest.

The criminal stared in befuddlement. All action ceased. "Is that...? Are-- are your...?"

Cap ground his teeth and resumed his battle stance. "Who are you working for," he pried. "Who sent you here?"

But the guy was helplessly staring at his nipples.

Bucky bit back a grin and texted Steve again.

Their awkward stalemate escalated until the lizard-thing's tail crashed into the side of the building. Steve shielded the criminal from the falling debris and frowned up at the sky, calling instructions into his comm. The criminal made a break for it. Steve followed, Cap face on, shield clutched on his arm. There was no chance the guy could outrun him.

He would have been terrifying, if his nipples weren't flashing.

Hawkeye was guffawing into his comm.

"Got a problem there, Cap?" Tony snarked, his focus on fighting the giant lizard thing.

"Hawkeye," Cap said, jaw stiff, "Get it together. -Widow, can you take the shot?"

"Aye, Cap." Even she sounded like she was smirking.

Cap's phone kept buzzing in his pocket, receiving a constant incoming stream of memes, emojis, and every penis shape Bucky could make via text message. Bucky was just barely keeping himself from cackling out loud. As Captain America chased down and cornered the criminal, his nipples flashed constantly. It was enough to disorient and distract the criminal, but Steve did not seem happy.

"Bucky, stop texting me!"

Bucky did not stop texting him. He tapped away happily at his Starkphone, grinning.

Cap was trying to give another motivational speech, but his nipples kept flashing. Hawkeye was laughing so hard he was crying.

Cap interrupted himself to grind out a sharp, reprimanding "Bucky!" before returning to his speech, peeved, but still trying to appear serious enough to guilt-trip the criminal into giving him information.

Bucky sent Cap another flurry of lewd emojis.

Iron Man was so amused by the situation that his cackling was interrupted by a crash of metal on concrete as he flew into the side of a building. 

As luck would have it, Cap had managed to corner the last of the criminals controlling the giant lizard thing, so Hulk and Thor were able to neutralize it while the guy was staring at Captain America's patriotic nipples. They continued flashing until Bucky closed out of his phone and joined the other Avengers on the street below, just as the cops arrived to take the guys into custody.

Hawkeye was rubbing at his eyes, catching his breath. There were tear tracks smeared across his cheeks. Natasha was smirking. Thor and the Hulk were confused; they'd somehow missed the whole thing.

Iron Man flipped open his faceplate, white teeth flashing in a huge grin, and offered his metal-clad fist. Bucky met it with his left hand. Their metal clanged together.

"Oh my god," Tony said, "You actually did it! You are my new favorite person."

Bucky grinned easily at him, then turned to meet Steve's angry-face with an innocent look. "How come you didn't answer your phone?"

"Bucky," Cap said in a dangerous voice.

A shiver ran down Bucky's spine. He didn't know how Steve was going to get back at him for this, but he sensed some majorly angry sex in the near future, and Bucky was a-okay with that.


End file.
